no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i dont even know how to be here
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
