I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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