Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
