he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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