You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
