Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
wow bdsm is so cute
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
