My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I smell like Dick and happiness
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