Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
