I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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