So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
