She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
