i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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