my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
