I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
