I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
