quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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