So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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