i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
