yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
