omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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