I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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