Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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