He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
