Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
