I'm lost and stupid without you.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
