whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
