Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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