so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
