Im at strip club and am horny
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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