She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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