I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
