I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
