Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We named our party play list daddy issues
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Randomize
