I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
