i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
