i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
