dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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