Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
