He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
