super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
