she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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