In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
