matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
