Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Randomize
