Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
