you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
