i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
