Cold hands, warm shart.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
