Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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