Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
