i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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