you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
