I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
